On Saturday, Shelby and I attended a Museum Hack tour at the Getty Center. Museum Hack puts on unconventional tours of museums throughout the country. Our guide, Adrian, had definitely done her research and told us all these crazy stories behind the works of art at The Getty Center. This post is just a little taste of what the tour offered. If you want more, you’ll have to sign up and see for yourself.
Museum Hack Tour of the Getty Center
“Hey, you guys want to see a picture of an exploding pregnant lady?” Adrian asked us when we arrived at the museum. WELL DUH. She showed us this painting, which depicts the birth of Bacchus AKA the Party God. Basically, Zeus’s pregnant human lady friend burst into flame when he revealed his true self to her. Seems like great subject matter for a painting, right? Frankly, I wish there was more exploding depicted.
This little green man is actually a drinking vessel. Adrian showed us lots of different drinking vessels, most of which had a fun game associated with them. There was one where you had to plug your fingers into certain holes of the vessel or risk spilling wine (or mead or whatever) all over your furs (or gown or whatever).
This lovely mosaic depicts the pope that blessed coffee, paving the way for my coffee addiction. Thanks, your Holiness.
Another pope commissioned this crazy elaborate chest with a bunch of hidden drawers. While you can’t actually touch the piece, Adrian showed us a video on her iPad of a few of the secret drawers. Imagine all the TREASURES you could hide in this thing! Nevermind that it’s bigger than my actual apartment.
As we made our way through the gallery, Adrian stopped us all to admire this lovely, um, butt. She challenged us to each select a piece we would want to take home with us, and said this was her choice. I feel like it’s a good pick.
BUT THIS BED IS OBVIOUSLY MY FIRST CHOICE!
The hot air balloon craze in early 19th-century France inspired this fabulous chandelier. Didn’t know there was a hot air balloon craze in France? Well now you do. Apparently that glass bowl in the bottom was meant to house GOLD FISH. Can you imagine?
We paused a moment to admire the views of Los Angeles and write postcards to our friends and family. I was pretty limited in my options since I only know, like, one address (hi Mom & Dad!).
I LOVE THIS. Apparently the original owner of this piece commissioned it to have a detachable penis so she could take off the member whenever she had more conservative guests over. Unfortunately, someone stole the detachable penis from the Getty, so the artist’s estate had to create a “tamper proof” detachable penis. I just love thinking about how someone out there has the original penis from this thing. Hopefully they keep it on their mantel.
This guy’s facial expression so relatable. He’s just like, “Bro.”
The first known record of “making it rain.”
Apparently one of the paints used on this piece was made of GROUND UP MUMMIES!
So, yeah, we had a great time. Although I’d been to the Getty Center before, I definitely learned a lot of new stuff on this tour.
Museum Hack currently has tours in New York City, San Francisco, Washington DC, Chicago, and LA (naturally). They also do team building, bachelorette parties, and other events. If you’re interested in booking a tour, visit their website.