I HATE INSTAGRAM. Wow, okay. That felt so great to get off my chest. I’ve had a lot of feelings building for a while now and I just need to express them. So hold on to your pants! This is going to be a major bitch fest.
I used to really, really like Instagram. Something about putting all these images from my life together in an aesthetically-pleasing way made me feel like I was living my best life. I saw a deer! I made a salad! I pet a dog!
Listen to all this stuff I do for my Instagram:
- Plan something to take photos of. Usually I just bring my camera out on the weekends, but sometimes there’s some research involved to find the most insta-worthy spots. WHICH IS JUST RIDICULOUS AND YET, HERE I AM. I’ll take up to 200 photos in one weekend.
- Edit all my photos in Lightroom. Usually, I request that my friends who took photos of me send those along, and I reciprocate by sending WeTransfer files of photos to them. I am not kidding you, I do this all the time.
- Upload my photos into Later. I choose the very best of the million on deck and schedule posts in a way that will look visually appealing on my profile page. I also choose a publishing time that will also reach my followers at peak time for engagement. Then I write a caption for each post and add the maximum amount of hashtags allowed by law.
- Wait for Later to send me a notification and then publish my post to Instagram. Inwardly lament that it’s not getting the attention that I want.
- Repeat every day for the rest of my life.
So that’s just the content publishing piece. Then there’s the whole engagement aspect, which I am even MORE done with.
More Reasons I Hate Instagram:
- Everyone on Instagram just wants more followers. They don’t want to follow you, but they want you to follow them.
- It’s almost impossible to sort out people who are just following you for the follow back from people who are actually interested in your content. I get like 100 followers each week, but where do they go? They’ve unfollowed me because they have a bot running their account. It doesn’t matter whether I follow them or not, they’re all about getting that follow.
- I can’t find my friends in my feed. You know, the people I know whose content I would ACTUALLY like to see. Instead, I keep getting like 1/9th of one of those stupid tile shots that people use to put a huge picture on their profile. Please stop doing this.
- THE DM’S. What the f is going on with my DM’s? It’s completely bizarre. It’s like a glimpse of another dimension. Here’s a few random DM’s I’ve received recently ( “/” used to denote a new message) “He/How are you”, “E aew/Blz?”, “Yeh”, “Like the video then thank.s for following me”. What does this mean? Is this another language? Ugh, and every once and a while I’ll get one that’s like, “I love your red hair. Let me spoil you.” PLEASE DON’T SEND ME THESE MESSAGES BECAUSE I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER EVERY TIME I RECEIVE THEM. And that wastes water, people. Let’s think about the environment.
So here’s what I propose: Let’s turn off our bots and actually engage with each other. Don’t just randomly like a bunch of pictures under a hashtag. Like things you actually LIKE! Follow people you are actually interested in! Leave comments you really mean! Stop being fake!
I am as guilty of this as the next Instagram person. Honestly, I have spent SO much time going through Kylie Jenner’s followers and liking the first photo on their account with the hope that I’ll get their attention and they’ll follow me. But it feels SO AWFUL. Like some of these people are like 13 or they live on the other side of the world or their account is in Arabic or they just post pixelated illustrations of roses. If that’s what it takes to be popular on Instagram, I don’t want to be popular on Instagram. I just want to live my best life and take some pictures, that’s all.
*picks up mic again*
Yet still, the allure of that 10k dangles like a carrot in front of me. I refuse to buy followers, but, gosh, just imagine everything that could be if I just 10k followers!
Luckily with the latest trend towards “micro-influencers” I have been able to monetize my Instagram. So, I get a little bit of money for all my hard work. In July, it came out to about $38/hr. BUT you have to remember all the countless hours I spent growing my Instagram following before I ever monetized the thing. And all the money I’ve spent on bots, editing, and whatnot. Ugh, WHAT THE F.
So will I quit Instagram? I don’t know. I don’t get a lot of clicks to my blog from Instagram, but I am starting to make a little money from it. I’ll probably keep it for now, mostly because I truly do enjoy photography and I’ve already sunk so much effort into it. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Well, anyways, if you want to follow me, you can do so @colleencocobongo. If you do, send me a message so I know it’s real.